Death Stinks

The third year anniversary of my mother's death is coming up on September 15th. She was only 57 years old and died during a surgery to try to remove some of the cancerous tumor that was consuming her body. It was too late, the Cancer had taken over and she was just too weak to survive.

Yes, I am thankful that she is no longer in bodily pain, and yes, I have a glorious hope that I will see her again in Heaven. That doesn't make death a good thing though. Death is an unnatural separation of body and soul that God never intended to be. It came into the world through sin. Jesus overcame sin and death by his sacrifice on the cross and by his resurrection. We have the hope of that same resurrection through him, but until then, we are still separated from the ones we love that have died. My heart aches, I miss my mom and the love and comfort that can only come from your mother. I am thankful I still have my husband, my children, and my dad, but I miss my mom. There are four new babies in the family that will not know her. The ones that did know her still cry and miss her. Every Mother's Day I walk through WalMart looking at cards and fight back tears. I have to take over the holiday planning because she is no longer here to do it. I feel pangs of envy when I see women my age with their moms. I will never be "over it". I Want My Mommy! I know she is in the arms of her loving Creator and alive "in Christ". I know she is praying for me and my family, and I have that connection to her because of Jesus. I believe,"O death, where is thy victory? O death, where is thy sting?( 1 Cor. 15:55) and that this is not a permanent condition. But for now, I can't hug her, I can't chat with her on the phone, I can't have her over for afternoon tea with the kids. I grieve for that loss, and will continue to do so for the rest of my life. Death stinks. I will celebrate her life and the promise of life eternal, but I will also mourn for what I have lost. That is a part of life. That is what makes this Earth seem a little less inviting and Heaven a little bit sweeter. The older I get and the more I lose here, the clearer that will become to me. For now, I know that God is good. I know that God only allows this pain because it can bring about some greater good. I don't fully understand what that is yet, but I have faith.

Drinkin' A Bit O' The Green

"Are you tired? Run down? Listless? Do you poop out at parties"

I do love Lucy, but the answer to all these problems is not in a little bottle of intoxicating Vitameatavegemin, but in a delicious green smoothie!

I have recently discovered the wonder that is the green smoothie, and let me tell you, and I am hooked. Now before you write me off as crazy (probably most of you did that along time ago)here me out. A green smoothie is a blended drink of fruits, water, and a fist full or two of a green leafy vegetable. I have used all kinds of fruit and a variety of green leafies from spinach, to beet tops, to dandelions from our own backyard (of which we have an abundance).

The fruit makes the pile of raw greens palatable, and the green leafies give you an energy burst without chemicals or the jitters. I have also found that the combination suppresses my appetite and makes me feel satisfied for a longer period of time. My 14 month old totally LOVES them, and my other kids are warming up to the idea (some more than others).

I made a new combo this morning and honestly I could not even taste the spinach. All of the kids really liked it too. Here is what I did:

1 banana
1 mango
1/2 frozen raspberries
1/2 cup water
Blend
Then add 1-3 handfuls of baby spinach. I use three, but if you are just starting out you may want to use just 1 for now.
BLEND BLEND BLEND

For more info on green smoothies here is a good site.

http://www.rawfamily.com/

My Take On Tebow

I am not a football fan. I just Googled to find out who is playing in the Superbowl this year. I'll be cheering for the Saints. How could you not cheer for a team with a name like that? I have however been following the controversy over the Tim Tebow ad that Focus on the Family is to air during the game. Certain women's groups are fearful that the message is too pro-life. Yet many in the pro-choice camp have admitted that those groups are taking things a bit far, and prohibiting the ad would be a violation the 1st Amendment. Much has already been written about that. I think another point must be made.

First off let me say that I think the ad is a good and positive thing. I hope that it makes people stop and think about life issues, but let's take a little hypothetical rewind. What if Mrs. Tebow had given birth to the little boy that the doctors warned her about? What if instead of a tall, good looking, Heisman Trophy winner, little Timmy had been a severely mentally and/or physically handicapped child? Would her "choice" then not be laudable? Would Tim's life not be as valuable? The triumph of the story is not that Tim grew up to be so successful. The glory lies in the fact that a baby was given the chance to continue on living.

All human life is valuable.....ALL HUMAN LIFE! From the time conception takes place, until the time we breathe our last, our lives are of infinite worth...no matter what. Football players, computer geeks, supermodels, janitors, homeless folks, CEOs, prison inmates, all are equal in their human dignity. Mrs. Tebow is to be praised because she understood that fact. She knew that regardless of the outcome, her child was created in the Image of God and therefore should be allowed to live until the Creator decided otherwise.

When doctors encourage women to abort their children because they might be "abnormal" we tread on some dangerously familiar ground. "Lebensunwertes Leben" or "life unworthy of life" was the ideology behind forced sterilizations and mass murders in Nazi Germany. When we believe that it is more humane to kill a child rather than have it live a "challenged" life what does that logically lead to? I think we have already had a taste. March 31st will be the fifth anniversary of Terri Schindler-Schiavo being inhumanly dehydrated and starved to death. Terri had no terminal illness. She was not on life support. All she had was a feeding tube to give her basic food and water. Yet she was subjected to a slow agonizing death while the entire country looked on. Stray dogs have a better fate. There are similar, less publicized murders that take place in nursing homes all the time. For more on this check out http://terrisfight.org/ .

So yes, I celebrate Tim Tebow and his chance at life and what he has done with it. I just think we also need to celebrate the lives of people like Leslie Lemke as well. I want to leave you with this video. Probably a lot of you have already seen it, but it is worth watching again.

Plans Vs. Reality

Do you remember that scene in Anne of Green Gables where Mirilla is meeting Anne for the very first time? "Tell me about yourself", Mirilla inquires. Anne replies, "If you let me tell you what I imagine about myself it would be much more interesting."

My imagined world is so orderly, so clean, so perfect, so.... not my real life. I've taken the time to make beautiful schedules, goals, outlines, and charts. However, somewhere along the way family members get sick, mice invade the house, or the dog gets a little too friendly with a porcupine (all actual events), and low and behold I'm behind in the laundry, and dinner ends up being toast and eggs.....again. Now I am not saying carefully made schedules are a bad thing.....sometimes they even work out! Yet, no matter how organized a person you are, there are just those days that we must be willing to adapt.

Chaos or calm I try to remember one simple daily prayer....." Dear Lord, please help me to accomplish all that is necessary today." God knows my family's needs. He can see the big picture and the final goal a lot more clearly than I can. Sometimes God takes me in a different direction than I originally planned and I need to learn to yield my will over to His will. Even Jesus prayed, "not my will but yours be done, and we are to "take up our cross and follow Him". Sometimes that means making a simple dinner because I have to spend extra time potty training my toddler. Sometimes it means setting aside a grammar lesson because my kids need some one-on-one cookie baking time with mom. Sometimes it means I have to take a nap while my capable 9 year old makes PB&J for lunch because I was up all night with a sick baby. Whatever it is, as long as I know that I am truly seeking God's will I can rest assured that He is taking care of what really needs to take place that day. Whether it matches my imagined day or not.

However, there are days when I am derailed due to my own selfishness. It is so easy to make little excuses for myself when I spend too much time on the computer, phone, or watching TV. At times I just don't feel like trying, or asking God what He wants from me. I can not have God's blessing if I am not attempting to do His will with my whole heart. There is always grace, but I need to cooperate with that grace to live out my vocation as wife and mother like He intends me to. If we allow slothful behavior to continue it can become a pattern of serious sins of omission. When we are idle with our time we are failing to do the things God has given us to do. We are also setting a bad example for our children to follow. Do as I say, not as I do does not work very well.

Oh, that reminds me.....time to exit the blogosphere and tackle those dishes!

Kathleen Rose

The newest member of our family, Kathleen Rose, joined us on April 2 at 8:30pm. She weighed in at 8lbs 6oz and was 20 inches long. She is one of my smaller babies. Katie Rose is a beautiful little girl and all of us are head over heals in love with her already. She is named for my Mom Kathleen who passed away from cancer last September. Mom told me that I was going to have a girl this time, but I didn't believe her. I really thought it would be another boy. I'm glad mom was right.

Nesting

Another late night....another blog. Everyone says that you lose sleep after the baby is born, but it is my experience that once the baby is out I sleep much better with he/she by my side rather than in my side...squashing my ribs.

I have been nesting for the past week now. At least I've been trying. Various pregnancy problems and home schooling the other kids has slowed me down a bit. We cleaned out the shop today so Russel can move all his music equipment and books out there. Then I can have the back room for a baby room! I haven't had a dedicated baby room since baby #1.

Nesting is such a primal feeling. It's like something just takes over and makes you clean and prepare. It is the only time that I actually get out the (old) toothbrush and clean all those forgotten corners out. I just got myself a new steam cleaner, but have not tried it out yet. I can' t wait to see what I can accomplish with that hummer! Maybe if I send everyone to bed with ear plugs I could burn the midnight oil cleaning!

Well, by the time I lay down, get comfortable, and fall asleep again, my two year old will come in and wake me up. I really feel that I must give it a go however. Only six more hours before I need to wake up and get everyone ready for Sunday school and Liturgy. Offer it up, Rach, offer it up.

Another Sleepless Night Blogger

My ribs are sore from baby pushing on them, so I am unable to sleep. I became a little sick of playing Hearts and Solitaire, so the natural consequence of this, of course, is to start a blog. Isn't that what the world needs, more bloggers? My mind is just too fuzzy at 1:30AM to write anything coherent, but I will attempt to compose something intelligent at a later time .

I believe I will go lay down with my Rosary and see if I can't meditate myself to sleep now.